Born a Victim

The poem "Apprenticed to Justice" by Kimberly Blaeser is some deep stuff. She describes a torn, burnt surrounding. Completely destroyed and ashened, and talks about how "no dustbowl wind can lift this history of loss" (3415) and you're just struck with the imagery of this poem. Children born to not trust the people they share a country with, to be completely seperate from this thing around them. Feeling the need to protect thier names because of fear they too will be stolen from them, "as easily as land" (3415). It's something American's just don't understand. I've been to a reservation, we were in New Mexico on our way to Los Altos and my mom wanted to stop. The people there were so kind, my dad is half Native American and it shows, they saw him and immediatly were so welcoming. They were having a celebration and were having a ceremony of goods. Sharing thier food with everyone in the tribe and they included us. Complete strangers welcomed us into their homes, I was young and the kids my age ran up to me and started showing me how to perform the dance they were doing. It was such an amazing humbling experience. To be instantly apart of something bigger than yourself, to know there are these people that are so misunderstood and mistreated. When the writer illudes to the trail of tears, "thunder like twelve thousand, walking, then ten thousand, then eight, walking away from stolen homes, from burned out camps, from relative fallen, as they walked, then crawled, then fell." (3416). These people so kind to welcome strangers have such a painful history. They are born into a world that refused to accept them, that cast them away as something less than and to be raised in that culture seperates you from the rest of the world and places a stigma upon your head. They are born expected to integrate or stay out of the way. This poem it beutiful however and ends with strength, an author trying to empower a people. To create a spark of revolution, of rights, for change. To rise above the ashes their heritage is built upon and become something great. I hope more people read these poems because they really have a depth of heart and truth that are so beautiful and inspiring. 

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Either You're With Us or Against Us

It was hard at first for me to get into this story, I hardly ever enjoy when a second language is used in literature but isn't translated. I understand it has meaning, but I don't know spanish so I don't know what that meaning is. It's as if I were talking to someone and just rambled a phrase in German knowing they didn't understand me but never bothered to tell them what I said. Not a big deal though, just a pet peeve that it wasn't a footnote or anything. I'm also not Catholic, nor have I ever been to a Catholic mass so the beginning turned me off becuase when the author is talking about how everyone is equal on Ash Wednesday (3312) I just kind of thought to myself, "well not everyone, I mean maybe every Catholic but that's certainly not everyone in the world" not a huge deal but it's hard to get into something when it seems the audience for the narration is so narrow. I did manage to connect with one part of this story and that's the nature of children. Children are pack animals. If you are weak, if you are different, you won't be accepted by the pack. If you go against them you will be rejected and if you defend someone that's not in the pack you are making a statment of betrayl and must be punished. This is basic child psychology. They learn to make friends with people that share commonalities with and ostersize those that don't necessarily belong. It's sad, when Tony actually does the right thing, defending his friend and refusing to give him a "punishment" before everyone the crowd of children turns on him. It reminded me of the story of Jesus and the Prositute. The men of the town wanted to stone her, they wanted her dead and Jesus made a statment that he who hath no sin shall cast the first stone. This wasn't exactly what happened with the kids but it showed signs of that, and then when Tony took the punishment, and actually cried out to God. It reminded me of the Crusifiction when before Christ died he cried out to his father asking for him to forgive those that had done this to him. Standing up to bullies is a Christ like behavior because it in essence puts yourself in harms way to protect another. Someone who might not be like you, someone who isn't always innocent themselves but you defend them because you know it's right. I read that part and thought it was pretty nice that despite thier difference in beliefs Tony still defended his friend and didn't judge him like the rest. He took the punishment of his peers and wasn't vengeful toward them or even mad at Florence, he just got up and went into confession. Kind of a neat picture. 

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Red Convertable

This story was insane. I loved it. I thought the car was supposed to be Henry. But I also thought that was a pretty straightforward metaphor. Lyman loves that car for the times he had with his brother in it. It takes seeing the car broken down and destroyed to give Henry not only some kind of purpose, but a purpose in hopes that it might somehow redeem Henry himself. But he can't get it quite right. It still isn't as whole as it used to be, no matter how hard Henry tries, just like Henry the man. And this is what really got me. Henry killed himself because of the whole never being really whole and back to who he was thing. But the big cathartic ending of pushing the car into the river just felt right. It's not so much that it's just following the idea of the car being a metaphor for Henry and dies in the river just like him, as much as it was Lyman finally letting his brother that really never came home go.

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The Red Convertible

I first read this story a few years ago in a short story class and the impact is similar.  One thing I find interesting is my reaction to Lyman and remembering my classes reaction to his life post-Henry.  When my class read it then my teacher and then the students all made a big scene out of pointing out that Lyman was drunk and stoned when he tossed the picture in a bag and then in the closet.  They, and I think I went along with this, made it sound as though he was on a bender, like his life was out of control.  We talked about him as horribly sad and some people even made him sound a bit pathetic or like he'd become like Henry, just blankly watching the TV and not living.  This is a pretty bleak outlook on this young man and a guy in the mid seventies (or now) who has had a few drinks and smoked a joint is not "out of control", nothing about what he described sounds like he's fallen into a pit of sadness.  He was down one night and this happened, as things do.  Were we s convinced that he had to be spiraling in sadness to want to take down the picture of Henry?  I think so.  I think we have trouble allowing people to grieve how they want to, and we want to pass judgement on what they can and cannot handle.  Lyman probably went back and forth, up and down, had good days and bad over Henry's death for years - but it is much more dramatic for us to think of other wallowing.  To see tears being shed is much more concrete than someone who moves on only to have occasional bad nights - it doesn't make their suffering any less or their mourning.  Why do we like to impose how we think people should be sad?

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The Red Convertible

This story was fantastic. One thing I picked up on was the how the convertible seemed to reflect Henry. Lyman describes when they first saw the car, it looked "reposed, calm and gleaming," which reflect Henry at that point in the story (3388). When Lyman damages the convertible, Henry doesn't just see a dented up car; instead, he sees a reflection of himself in the dented metal, as if it signified his own pain and suffering. Henry begins repairing the car, but realizes he cannot fix himself in the same way. When he drowns, Lyman brings the convertible to the same resting place, showing in fact that the car does reflect Henry, even to Lyman.

Another thing I found interesting was Lyman's narration. He refers to his recounts in past tense, but he never quotes Henry in past tense, always present. This made my heart heavy, as it shows Lyman's inability to let his brother die, something I think we can all relate to. He loved his brother, and it is hard to accept loss in any form. 

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Bless Me, Ultima

In the excerpt from Rudolfo Anaya's novel, Bless Me, Ultima, we are presented the narrator, Antonio (aka Tony), a Mexican-American boy, around the time of ash Wednesday. As the days progress towards Easter Sunday, Tony is filled with this excitement, that everything will be made well again, and that his first communion will make everything right. As it progresses, he does not seem to feel any better. When he is made priest by the other children, and refuses to give penance to Florence for not believing in the word of God, he is beaten violently by the children. Still, he goes into his confession, with a heavy heart, still thinking he must confess. This story definitely shows someone who is lost within their religion. The words of Florence resonate in Tony, I feel. Florence says of his disbelief: "Because you refuse to see the truth, or to accept me because I do not believe in your lies! I say God has sinned against me because he took my father and mother from me when I needed them, and he made my sisters whores" (3319). You can feel his anger and his sadness through his words, and I think Tony felt moved by it. I found Tony's situation to be reminiscent to that of Jesus. He stood up for what he believed was right, and suffered punishment for it. Yet, at no time did he go back on it. He struggled to get away, but in the end, he held true his convictions. He is very noble, and though one gets the sense he is lost, he still seems clear in his morals. 

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The Red Convertible: Lyman Lamartine

The story has several incidents of magic realism in it.  Lyman's ability to make money so easily and not worrying about being called up for the draft.  But the incident that stood out for me was in the end when Henry drowns.  It starts out in an ordinary way with both of them sitting on the bank.  Then Henry suddenly decides to jump in the river. But the scene unfolds in an otherworldy way as Henry says so calmly, "My boots are filling." (3394) an then, "He says this in a normal voice, like he just noticed and he doesn't know what to think of it." (3394) It all seems to unfold in a very calm peaceful way, almost like a dream.  There does not seem to be any panic or confusion as this tragic event is happening. It make me wonder if Henry was ready to die.  Was the drowning intentional or an accident?  Had he made his peace with the world and as ready to let go? Did he think that his life would never get any better?

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The Death of Henry Junior

The light begins to dim. The crimson convertible is at a halt beyond the gray flowing waters of the Pembina and Red Rivers. The air is silent. The mood is overcome with disparagement. The two men encircle the warmth of a fire created by hand. The river is almost still although ever flowing none the same. It is as if the river itself derives from the source of Acheron(www.theoi.com). The darkness of the landscape as the sun sets entails death; the death of men. Can the soul of man die as the body lives on? Henry Junior died long before he ever came home. Only his body survived the trip from the treacherous forest of the Vietcong. “When he came home... Henry was very different, and I’ll say this: the change was no good”(Erdrich3390). Henry had become mindless. Only his central nervous system controlled him now. The thoughts within his head were hollow; nothing more than that dark forest in Vietnam. As the two stood on that river bank, the bank of the dead, Henry dove head first. He liberated himself from his given body. He was now completely freed from this Earth. Nothing was left to tie him to the soil. Within moments he was gone. The current carried the unmoving body into the underworld of Hades. 

Endrich entails such a dramatic conclusion as to depict an other worldly ambiance. One can die in many ways. The metaphysical nature of the scene brings forth the eventuality of death as well as the ways in which a human may die. Death is not always what it appears. Many die far before their physical selves leave the Earth. Endrich’s abounding illustration illuminates the uncertainty of life and the human soul. 

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Penance: Reconstructing of Youth

As the doors open, children race to be first into the church hall. A building seemingly encompassed with peace and forgiveness is simply a fallacy, a game. Antonio and his friends are taught in a means of fear. For every sin, there is a punishment. The children delight in their sins as they desire to see who will receive the largest penance. After Florence depicted his view the children bellowed “make his penance hard... make him kneel and we’ll beat him... yeah, beat him.. stone him!... beat him!... kill him”(Anaya3319). In all the chaos of sin, the children lose the true meaning of eternal salvation. As they desire a penance for the sins of another, they overlook their own. Within the confinements of the dark box the children forgot the purpose of the penance. It is to assure that one reconnects with the Lord after entailing their sins. Penance should never become a punishment, yet it has become more than that. Penance for the children as turned into a game. Who has the worst sin? Who receives the highest punishment? Religion must not only be taught within the church, but lived. The children merely hear the age old stories of an ancient book. They do not feel the words beat into their own souls. The Bible is nothing more than a literal tool of punishment and exactitude for the children. They do not understand that to become a true Catholic, one must live the words of the Lord not fear them. Show compassion. Help a fellow man. Are Catholic practices learned effectively by youth or are they merely a means of fear to intimidate children to act appropriately? Do strict religions have the opposite effect on children? Do they cause them to act out? 

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The red convertible

The Red Convertible: Lyman Lamartine was a sad story about two American Indians whose life on the reservation was idyllic but the white man’s war (Viet Nam) interfered with their lives. Henry was a strong confident carefree young man who alongside his brother made a road trip in a red convertible.  The convertible became a symbol of their freedom and self-confidence. It was a link to happier times for both Henry and Lyman.  Their road trip was far reaching and they even went to Alaska on a whim. They enjoyed life and lived each moment without regrets. When they came back Henry had to go in the Marines.  He went to Viet Nam for three years and when he came back he had post traumatic syndrome. The reservation had no facilities to help Henry and Lyman just wanted his brother back and not the silent nervous stranger. Lyman feels that giving Henry a purpose will be beneficial so he bangs up the convertible so Henry will repair it. Henry is better for a while but Henry and Lyman go for a ride and Henry just goes into the water and his boots fill up which was one of the lines in the first paragraph of the story.   Lyman pushes the convertible into the water that Henry has drowned in and now Henry owns the whole car and Lyman walks everywhere.

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Bless me, Ultima

               I understand the thoughts of the young Catholic boy about to receive his first confession. Sin is very real and damnation is only a sin away.  That is how Catholic religion was in my time.  The nuns and priests were infallible and their word was law.  For one of the boys, Florence to claim that he never had sinned was blasphemous. “I don’t have any,” Florence said softly.” (Anaya 3318). “Everybody has sins!” shouted Agnes.” (Anaya 3318)  The way that the story moved alongside the Stations of the Cross was interesting to me.   The childish confessions of sins were benign but their actions against Tony were vicious and not very Christ-like.  They all marched in for their confession like devote Catholics but just a few moments ago were beating Tony who was by far the most forgiving and conscious of his sins.  Is the writer drawing a parallel to Christ who was blameless but willing to suffer for the sins of others?

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Bless Me, Ultima

Antonio and his friends are afraid to break customs and traditions within the Church because, "I knew that eternity lasted forever, and a soul because of one mistake could spend that eternity in hell." (3313) They learn their catechism by rote and it makes no sense to them as anything meaningful.  It is about obeying rules to stay out of hell for all of eternity.  They all follow the traditions and are excited to make their first confession. They are looking forward to being a more active part of the church.  The way the children pretend to go to confession, with Antonio as the priest, is their way of relieving the anxiety of making their first confession.  But it turns into a violent conflict when Florence says he does not have any sins.  The children act out what they have been taught all their lives.  The Catholic Church is the authority and everyone must agree with it or suffer at her hands. The children have not been taught to feel compassion for one another.  But to judge one another according to what the Church says is true.  After the mock confession the children beg  for Antonia to give him a hard penance.  They get caught up in the frenzy and at one point they shout, "Stone him!" "Beat him!" "Kill him!" (3319) Antonio is the only one who seems to realize the hypocrisy of this and turns to the crowd of children and says, "No!" I shouted, "there will be no punishment, there will be no penance! His sins are forgiven!" (3319) Antonio is compassionate enough to see that Florence is upset with God and needs some leniency. Children should be taught that the Church is there to help guide them spiritually and that all people sin and God is merciful and is forgiving.  Not that God is harsh and punitive.  Waiting to catch you messing up so he can send you to hell for eternity. Children also need to be taught that all people are accepted in God's eyes, not shunned. 

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